Welcome to Dragon Week, a celebration of all things Dragon!
Wow. How did Friday come so fast? You’ve tweeted at us dozens of times about wanting to seduce a dragon. You’ve yelled a lot about Godzilla. We’ll always remember these times. But now it’s over for this year and we’re ready to give you the matchups you’ve all been secretly waiting for: DRAGONS. VERSUS. SHARKS.
Can a 500 ft. tall dragon take on a tornado of sharks? Will goes be anything more than a fish-flavored snack in a fight with the great and terrible Smaug? Who’s to say? Oh wait. We will.
Dragons Versus Sharks
By Julia Bergen
If you’ve been following Dragon Week, and are also planning on following Shark Week, is it even possible not to wonder who would win in a fight? Because we’ve been thinking about that a LOT, and we’ve been searching for answers. We’ve compiled all of the information available on this important topic, and release it here for public consumption and education.
Does that make us heroes? Well, we think so.
Sharanakal vs. a Sharknado
This is a hard one to predict. The Ruin of Kings‘ Sharanakal is tricksy, and could come up with a strategy to take down the Sharknado. But the Sharknado is…a tornado…made of sharks. How do you even fight that? He could hypnotize the sharks, but then they’re still just in the tornado. This is a battle that may never end, just continue through the centuries.
Mostly though, we agree with RoK author Jenn Lyons on the subject.
Needle-Throated Verdun vs. Bruce, Anchor, and Chum
(Source: Blood of an Exile by Brian Naslund)
|Bruce, Anchor, and Chum
(Source: Disney’s Finding Nemo
|Average Height: 20 feet tall||Height: Standard Shark Length|
|Magical Power: Supposedly no magic, just lots of teeth! Rawr!||Magical Power: Can speak English (with an exciting Australian accent)|
|Defensive Ability: Their caves are super twisty and hard to navigate||Defensive Ability: Lurking in shadowy areas|
|Special Skill: As the name suggest, red spines along its throat||Special Skill: Motivational program to resist violent urges|
Needle-Throated Verdun’s mostly just want to eat livestock and sleep. We think that in a match up the Finding Nemo sharks could easily get the Verdun on board with their program and coexist peacefully. No big fight here, sorry for anyone hoping for a bloodbath! Nature isn’t here for your entertainment.
Smaug vs. Jaws
This match-up of classic vs. classic would be a treat to watch! In that Jaws would end up a treat. Smaug doesn’t usually swim, but we think he could figure out a way to go toe to toe (or in the case…talon to fin?) with the famous shark. But yes, our prediction: SMAUG. There’s too much armor there for even the legendarily large Great White shark, and he’s not bright enough for a raven to let him know the exact spot to strike.
Alpheratz vs. The Meg
(source: Dragonslayer by Duncan M. Hamilton)
(source: the MEG series by Steve Alten)
|Height: Freaking huge||Height: Biggest shark EVER|
|Magical Power: Draws on other sources of magic and breathes fire. But like, a lotta fire.||Magical Power: No magic, just size|
|Defensive Ability: Sweet cave to hide in||Defensive Ability: Just. So. Huge. How do you even start? a|
|Special Skill: Tragic backstory, viewpoint character||Special Skill: Just when you think it’s extinct, it’s not|
Wait why did we pick this match?
We’re thinking this match-up is going to depend on which world the battle takes place in. Alpheratz requires large quantities of magic to draw on to power his abilities. So, if this fight takes place in a high magic world, the advantage goes to Alpheratz. BUT, if it takes place in our world, there’s going to be dragon blood in the water.
That’s all folks!