For our final guest post of Dragon Week: Tokyo Drift, we asked Fury of a Demon author Brian Naslund: What would you do if you woke up a dragon? Check out his step by step guide for what to do if YOU someday wakeup a dragon below!
As a human, the chances of transforming into a dragon overnight are low, but they’ll never be zero. So, it’s best to be somewhat prepared for the possibility.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to surviving and thriving in your new situation.
By Brian Naslund
- Don’t Panic
Behind dragonslayers, panic is your worst enemy. You don’t want to lose your cool and accidentally demolish a nearby school with a bunch of wild tail swipes. That will for sure come back on you, even if it was an accident.
So, take a few deep breaths. You can even try that Navy SEAL box-breathing technique. If it’s good enough for the SEALS, it’s good enough for a dragon!
- Determine Whether You’re a Wyvern or a Dragon
In your new life as a mythical creature, proper classification and nomenclature is going to be vital. So, take a look at your right arm, and determine whether your wing is a part of the appendage, or separate from it, which will indicate that you are…
…just kidding. This doesn’t matter right now. You’re above labels. Move on to step 3.
- Got wings? Use them!
Some guides may have you holding off on your first flight, but I say life’s short and you’ve lived the entirety of yours without being able to fly, until now. Go for it. Spread those wings and cruise amongst the clouds for a bit. Watch out for airplanes.
- More of an aquatic dragon situation? Go for a swim.
Humans have explored a paltry 5% of the ocean. Guess what? You’re now lord of the other 95% (unless Aquaman exists in which case, Boss Fight).
- Find a safe place to land, then get a sense of your moral alignment
Now that you’ve seen the sights, it’s time to do some inner reflection.
While soaring amongst the clouds, did you feel an overwhelming urge bathe a town in flames? That’s a sign that you might be Chaotic Evil. On the other hand, is your head filled with a bunch of riddles that—when answered correctly—make you want to blab on about buried treasure or share bits of wisdom? That’s more of a Lawful Neutral vibe. You’ll have more friends.
Whatever you’re feeling, be honest with yourself! Self-deception is almost as problematic as panic and dragonslayers.
- Look beyond immediate gratification. Do you want to stay a dragon?
Okay, the sky/ocean romp was a lot of fun, but down to brass tacks: you’ve undergone a significant life change, do you want to stay this way? If yes, move on to Step 7 without delay.
If no, you’ll need to do some investigating. Did you piss off any sketchy looking people lately? Someone who may have been a sorcerer/witch/wizard in disguise? Have you recently failed a test of conscience or character? What about robbing any potentially enchanted tombs?
Whatever the potential cause of transformation, it’ll take specific research to undo, but this is a good place to start. Good luck ditching those scales.
- Find a lair.
I’d suggest something remote, but spacious. Beneath a mountain is always a popular spot, but don’t be afraid to explore alternatives. Remote jungles. An oasis in a desert. Deep sea crevasse if you’re aquatic. And don’t stop at just one lair! A home for each time zone isn’t a bad goal.
- Prepare for Dragonslayers and/or Adventurers
Even if you pick a remote lair, the way things go, you’re going to be getting some visitors eventually. Their disposition will be impacted by the decisions you made in Step 3.
If you’re on the Lawful/Neutral side of things, you can expect nice interactions! Prepare riddles and rewards accordingly. Keeping a variety of teas around is also a nice touch.
If you went Black Hat in Step 3, dragonslayers are going to be a problem. Here are a few tips:
- You’ll probably receive steady stream of unprepared and angry “dragonslayers” who are just trying to avenge your latest act of destruction. You can ignite these fools on sight. Enjoy this work, but don’t get complacent. Hidden amidst this chum, there are people who actually know what they’re doing.
- Beware of an organized group who all seem to have a specific role in battle (wizard, archer, healer, etcetera). The well-balanced “D&D party” approach to dragonslaying is highly effective, so treat them with caution and respect.
- If a dude with blue face tattoos and a spear shows up, bail. Just bail completely. Fly around the world and find a new lair. Nobody will give you guff…you’re a dragon, and that guy was dangerous.
This concludes my basic survival guide for life as a dragon. I hope you’ve found it useful. If you’re looking for more guides, check out: Fire Breathing 101: An Introduction to Unleashing Your Inner Flame or Advanced Aeronanical Warfare: The Air Force Will Shake When Your Shadow Drops.
Brian Naslund had a brief stint in the New York publishing world but quickly defected to tech in Denver where he does internet marketing. He is the author of the Dragons of Terra series. The final installment, Fury of a Demon, hits shelves 08/31/2021.
Pre-order Fury of a Demon here: