Why do we only have one moon? Scientists will probably tell you different, but we like our answer better: It beat all the other hopeful moons in a gauntlet of high stakes combat encounters. In the spirit of the time-honored sport of moonfighting, we conducted a few moonfights on our Twitter, and the results are in!
See which moon’s emerged victorious in this moonly-fighty recap, and HEY! While you’re at it, check out The Starless Crown by James Rollins, the first edition in a hot new epic fantasy series about (you guessed it) fighting the moon!
Round 1: The Cooker Vs. Princess Yue
The Cooker is an anxious lil robot who tried to stop Wallace & Gromit from harvesting lunar cheese. Loves skiing; hates stealing.
Princess Yue of the Northern Water Tribe ascended to moon-spiritdom to save her people from Fire Nation invasion.
Round 1 Results
Winner: Princess Yue
Princess Yue led the Northern Water Tribe to a solid victory over Wallace & Gromit’s robotic antagonist, The Cooker! Garnering 69.1% of votes, you could call this win for waterbenders everywhere a total wash.
Round 2: The Bureau of Balance Vs. Silverpelt
Headquartered on a floating moonbase, The Bureau of Balance is dedicated to geodesic design and destroying Grand Relics.
Long have the cats of the Warrior Clans turned eyes and prayers to Silverpelt, the eternal hunting ground of StarClan.
Round 2 Results
This moon match was a party wipe for The Bureau of Balance, with Silverpelt swiping 54.7% of the vote to claim a narrow victory for the cats of Erin Hunter’s Warriors universe. Youch. We’d prescribe a compress of dock leaf and cobwebs for the Bureau’s wounds while they recuperate.
Round 3: Goodnight Moon Vs. A Trip To The Moon
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown. 32 pages. Colorful illustrations. Over 48 million copies sold.
Regarded as one of the most influential films of all time, A Trip To The Moon propelled an age of cinematic innovation.
Round 3 Results
Winner: Goodnight Moon
A Trip To The Moon might have made cinematic history when it debuted over a century ago in 1902, but today this film makes history by losing harder than any other moon has ever. Goodnight Moon put it in a sleeper hold when the classic bedtime story took 81.8% of votes. Goodnight movie!
Round 4: The Death Star Vs. Sailor Moon
Capable of destroying planets, this space station oft mistaken for a moon earns its ominous name: The Death Star.
Magical girl transformation time! The cosmos’ sparkliest protector Sailor Moon is determined to save us all.
Round 4 Results
Winner: Sailor Moon
Hundreds made their voices heard by voting in this clash of aesthetics. Colorful magic against the might of space empire. The people spoke, and they said “Sailor Moon,” awarding 69% of the vote the solar system’s coolest superhero.