What Type of Hot Dog are You? Take the Quiz to Find Out!

“Raw Dog will leave you nourished.” —BuzzFeed

Part travelogue, part culinary history, all capitalist critique—comedian Jamie Loftus’s debut, Raw Dog, will take you on a cross-country road trip in the summer of 2021, and reveal what the creation, culture, and class influence of hot dogs says about America now.

Hot dogs. Poor people created them. Rich people found a way to charge fifteen dollars for them. They’re high culture, they’re low culture, they’re sports food, they’re kids’ food, they’re hangover food, and they’re deeply American, despite having no basis whatsoever in America’s Indigenous traditions. You can love them, you can hate them, but you can’t avoid the great American hot dog.

Raw Dog: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs is part investigation into the cultural and culinary significance of hot dogs and part travelog documenting a cross-country road trip researching them as they’re served today. From avocado and spice in the West to ass-shattering chili in the East to an entire salad on a slice of meat in Chicago, Loftus, her pets, and her ex eat their way across the country during the strange summer of 2021. It’s a brief window into the year between waves of a plague that the American government has the resources to temper, but not the interest.

So grab a dog, lay out your picnic blanket, and dig into the delicious and inevitable product of centuries of violence, poverty, and ambition, now rolling around at your local 7-Eleven.

Take the quiz below to find out what type of hot dog YOU’D be!

What Type of Hot Dog Are You?

Take the quiz to find out what type of hot dog YOU’d be!

You’re a Stadium Hot Dog!

Congrats, you’re a stadium hot dog! You’re a traditionalist at heart and always know how to bring a smile to everyone’s face. You’re a joy to be around and people get excited just to see you. And sure, you may come at a high price…but that’s just because you know your worth! Plus most people would totally agree you’re worth the long wait in line. Best way to pass the time on said line? Read Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus!

You’re a Corn Dog!

Congrats, you’re a corn dog! The corn dog: underrated, unconventional, eclectic, deep-fried, delicious, and one of the best forms a hot dog can possibly take on. You’re a unique and absolutely one-of-a-kind type of person. You’re always thinking outside of the box–excuse us, the BUN–and you march to the beat of your own drum. Keep doing your thang, you funky-fresh corn dog. And read Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus while you’re at it!

You’re a New York-Style Hot Dog!

Congrats, you’re a New York hot dog! You’re classic and a true gem. Nothing beats a NY-style dog and you’re truly a force to be reckoned with. You’ve got a style and panache that could easily make any of the other weenies jealous. You’re simple yet elegant, poised yet you reign supreme, and you can always read between the lines (or in this case, the buns). Know what else you should read? Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus!

You’re a Chicago-Style Hot Dog!

Congrats, you’re a Chicago hot dog! You’re a flavorful, colorful person with a strong will and determined demeanor. The Chicago-style hot dog’s history begins with street cart hot dog vendors who first started selling them during the harsh times of the Great Depression. And just like the Chicago dog, you’re resilient and will always make it through the tough days! There’s no denying that you have excellent taste, which is precisely why you ought to read Raw Dog by Jamie Loftus!

What type of weenie-themed snack would you find yourself munching on?

How do you put ketchup on your hot dog?

What’s your favorite condiment?