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Books to Give the Sci-Fi Fan On Your List

There are some people out there who finish their Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. We admire them–and we’re a little jealous of them, because we tend to leave things to the last minute. Luckily, we know the perfect last minute gift for nearly everyone: books. If you’re like us, and looking for some last minute gifts, never fear–we’re here to help. Here are some recommendations for the sci-fi fans in your life. Don’t forget to check out our Fantasy and Young Adult lists as well!

The Collapsing Empire by John Scalzi

Placeholder of  -76 Is there anyone on your list who loves the SyFy show The Expanse? If so, maybe give them a copy of The Collapsing Empire! What happens when the Flow, the extradimensional interstellar highway in the universe, collapses? Can thousands of stranded planets, thousands of light years apart, be saved?
 
Walkaway by Cory Doctorow

Image Placeholder of - 50 The world can be a frustrating place these days. If there’s anyone on your list who’s contemplating just walking away from it all, then this is the book for them. In Walkaway, Hubert joins a small but growing segment of society who have decided to go fully off the grid, walking away from the breakdown of modern society. Then the walkaways discover something even the ultra-rich haven’t been able to buy: how to beat death. Now it’s war–a war that will turn the world upside down.

Autonomous by Annalee Newitz

Image Place holder  of - 84 For the philosopher on your list, we recommend Autonomous. It’s a cerebral and morally complex read that covers issues from patent law, artificial intelligence, modern slavery, and more. Patent-pirate Jack, indentured military robot Paladin, and a diverse cast of characters will make you question whether freedom is truly possible in this frighteningly realistic future.

All Systems Red by Martha Wells

Poster Placeholder of - 94 Everyone knows someone who just wants to be left alone binging Netflix. All Systems Red is the perfect companion read for them. All Murderbot wants is to be left alone to watch their shows, but of course, that’s not possible. Instead, they’re trying to protect near-suicidally curious scientists as they take on the powerful corporation that owns Murderbot.

Luna: New Moon by Ian McDonald

Place holder  of - 15 Is there a Game of Thrones fan in your life who’s interested in branching out to science fiction? Then give them Luna: New Moon! In McDonald’s imagined future, the Moon is controlled by five ultra-rich corporations in a futuristic feudal society. Full of the power struggles, violence, and backstabbing that make Game of Thrones so fun, Luna: New Moon will suck you in and leave you wondering who you really should be rooting for in its vicious political atmosphere.

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

For the person on your list who loves the classic literature, but maybe hasn’t dipped their toes into the world of genre yet, we recommend this science fiction must-read. Plus, this gorgeous new edition will fit right in between Albert Camus and Lewis Carroll on your shelves. Love the look of the new mini-edition? There are five more of them! (link to minis website)

Iraq + 100 edited by Hassan Blasim

Perfect for the person who’s always the most interesting to talk to at parties, this groundbreaking anthology of science fiction from Iraq will give them fuel for 100 more interesting conversations. Iraqi authors use science fiction, allegory, magical realism and more to try to answer the question: what might your home country look like in the year 2103?

Steal the Stars by Mac Rogers and Nat Cassidy

Is there someone in your life who’s always recommending new podcasts for you to listen to? Then we have a double recommendation for them: Steal the Stars, in both book and podcast form! From the brand new imprint Tor Labs, Steal the Stars the podcast is the story of Dak and Matt as they go from guarding the biggest secret in the world, the alien Moss, to trying to steal it and fund their new lives together. The 14 episode series, by award-winning audio dramatist and playwright Mac Rogers, moves at a breakneck pace. Want to go deeper into the story? Then check out Nat Cassidy’s novelization!

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New Releases: 11/7/17

Happy New Release Day! Here’s what went on sale today.

All Those Explosions Were Someone Else’s Fault by James Alan Gardner

Poster Placeholder of - 8 Monsters are real. But so are heroes.

Sparks are champions of weird science. Boasting capes and costumes and amazing super-powers that only make sense if you don’t think about them too hard, they fight an eternal battle for truth and justice…mostly.

Black Goat Blues by Levi Black

Image Placeholder of - 17 In Red Right Hand, Charlie Tristan Moore was thrust into a nightmarish world of lurking Lovecraftian horrors when The Man In Black, a diabolical Elder God, chose her as his unwilling Acolyte. Discovering her own power, Charlie ultimately defied The Man In Black, but at a cost.

Now armed with a magic coat made from the skin of a flayed angel, Charlie is out to destroy The Man In Black and save her boyfriend Daniel.

The Realms of God by Michael Livingston

Placeholder of  -54 The Realms of God is the thrilling conclusion to Michael Livingston’s historical fantasy trilogy that continues the story begun in The Shards of Heaven and The Gates of Hell.

The Ark of the Covenant has been spirited out of Egypt to Petra, along with the last of its guardians. But dark forces are in pursuit.

Steal the Stars by Mac Rogers and Nat Cassidy

Image Place holder  of - 83 Dakota “Dak” Prentiss guards the biggest secret in the world.

They call it “Moss.” It’s your standard grey alien from innumerable abduction stories. It still sits at the controls of the spaceship it crash-landed eleven years ago. A secret military base was built around the crash site to study both Moss and the dangerous technology it brought to Earth.

Valiant Dust by Richard Baker

Place holder  of - 37 In a stylish, smart, new military science fiction series, Richard Baker begins the adventures of Sikander North in an era of great interstellar colonial powers. Valiant Dust combines the intrigues of interstellar colonial diplomacy with explosive military action.

Sikander Singh North has always had it easy—until he joined the crew of the Aquilan Commonwealth starship CSS Hector. As the ship’s new gunnery officer and only Kashmiri, he must constantly prove himself better than his Aquilan crewmates, even if he has to use his fists.

NEW IN MANGA

Anti-Magic Academy: The 35th Test Platoon – The Complete Missions Story by Touki Yanagimi; Art by Youhei Yasumura

Dreamin’ Sun Vol. 4 Story and art by Ichigo Takano

Magical Girl Site Vol. 4 Story and art by Kentaro Sato

Record of Lodoss War: The Grey Witch (Gold Edition) Story by Ryo Mizuno; Art by Yutaka Izubuchi

The Testament of Sister New Devil Vol. 7 Story by Tetsuto Uesu; Art by Miyakokasiwa

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Steal the Stars Sweepstakes

Sign up for a chance to win a copy of Steal the Stars, the novelization of the hit podcast from Tor Labs, and this hand-crocheted Moss plushie!

Image Place holder  of - 93Dakota “Dak” Prentiss guards the biggest secret in the world.

They call it “Moss.” It’s your standard grey alien from innumerable abduction stories. It still sits at the controls of the spaceship it crash-landed eleven years ago. A secret military base was built around the crash site to study both Moss and the dangerous technology it brought to Earth.

The day Matt Salem joins her security team, Dak’s whole world changes.

It’s love at first sight—which is a problem, since they both signed ironclad contracts vowing not to fraternize with other military personnel. If they run, they’ll be hunted for what they know. Dak and Matt have only way to be together: do the impossible. Steal Moss and sell the secret of its existence.

And they can’t afford a single mistake.

 

 

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OFFICIAL RULES

Steal The Stars Sweepstakes

NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN THIS SWEEPSTAKES. OPEN ONLY TO LEGAL RESIDENTS OF THE 50 UNITED STATES, D.C. AND CANADA (EXCLUDING QUEBEC) WHO ARE 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER AT THE TIME OF ENTRY. U.S. LAW GOVERNS THIS SWEEPSTAKES. VOID IN QUEBEC AND WHERE PROHIBITED.

  1. ELIGIBILITY: The Steal the Stars Sweepstakes (the “Sweepstakes”) is open only to persons who as of the date of entry (and, if a winner, as of the date of prize fulfillment) are a legal resident of the 50 United States, the District of Columbia or Canada (excluding Quebec) and who are 18 years of age or older. We are sorry for the geographic restrictions, unfortunately it is required for various legal reasons. Persons who as of the date of entry (and, if a winner, as of the date of prize fulfillment) are an employee of Tom Doherty Associates (“Sponsor”) or any of Sponsor’s Affiliates (as defined in Section 5), and members of the immediate family or household (whether or not related) of any such employee, are not eligible. Eligibility determinations will be made by Sponsor in its discretion and will be final and binding. U.S. law governs this Sweepstakes. Void in Quebec and where prohibited by law.
  2. HOW TO ENTER: The entry period for the Sweepstakes begins at 11:00 a.m. Eastern Time (ET) on November 6, 2017 and continues through 11:59 p.m. ET on November 10, 2017 (the “Entry Period”). No purchase is necessary. To enter the Sweepstakes, during the Entry Period, entrants must visit the website located at https://www.torforgeblog.com/2017/11/06/steal-the-stars-sweepstakes/ (the “Website”) and follow the on-screen entry instructions. Sponsor may also in its discretion make the online entry form for the Sweepstakes available via other websites, including websites that are not operated by Sponsor. Each entrant will be required to fill out an online entry form (which will require the entrant to submit his or her e-mail address and such other information as Sponsor may require). There is a limit of one entry per person and per email address. All entries must be completed and received by Sponsor prior to the conclusion of the Entry Period. Entry times will be determined using Sponsor’s computer, which will be the official clock for the Sweepstakes. Normal time rates, if any, charged by the entrant’s Internet or mobile service provider will apply. All entries are subject to verification at any time. Proof of submission does not constitute proof of entry. Sponsor will have the right, in its discretion, to require proof of identity and/or eligibility in a form acceptable to Sponsor (including, without limitation, government-issued photo identification). Failure to provide such proof to the satisfaction of Sponsor in a timely manner may result in disqualification.
  3. WINNER SELECTION AND NOTIFICATION: Following the conclusion of the Entry Period, 1 potential Grand Prize winner(s) will be selected in a random drawing conducted by Sponsor or its agent from among all eligible entries received during the Entry Period. The odds of winning will depend on the number of eligible entries received. The potential winner will be notified by e-mail (sent to the e-mail address provided by the entrant when entering), or using other contact information provided by the potential winner, in Sponsor’s discretion. If the initial notification requires a response, the potential winner must respond to Sponsor’s initial notification attempt within 72 hours. The potential winner is subject to verification of eligibility and may, in Sponsor’s discretion, be required to complete, sign and return to Sponsor an Affidavit of Eligibility/Release of Liability or an Affirmation of Eligibility/Release of Liability, as determined by Sponsor, and, if legally permissible, a Publicity Release (collectively, a “Declaration and Release” for residents of Canada), and any other documentation provided by Sponsor in connection with verification of the potential winner’s eligibility and confirmation of the releases and grant of rights set forth herein (as applicable, “Winner Verification Documents”), within seven days of attempted delivery of same. The potential winner, if a U.S. resident, may also in Sponsor’s discretion be required to complete and return to Sponsor an IRS Form W-9 within seven days of attempted delivery of same. If the potential winner is a Canadian resident, he or she will be required to correctly answer a mathematical skill-testing question without mechanical or other aid to be administered via telephone, email or another manner determined by Sponsor in its discretion at a pre-arranged mutually convenient time. If the potential winner cannot be reached or does not respond within 72 hours of the initial notification attempt or fails to complete, sign, and return any required Winner Verification Documents or, if a U.S. resident, IRS Form W-9 within seven days of attempted delivery of same, or in the case of a Canadian selected entrant, fails to correctly answer the mathematical skill-testing question without mechanical or other aid, or if the potential winner does not otherwise comply with these Official Rules and/or cannot accept the prize as awarded for any reason, then the potential winner may be disqualified and an alternate winner may, at Sponsor’s discretion, be selected from among the remaining eligible entries as specified in these Official Rules (in which case the foregoing provisions will apply to such newly-selected entrant).
  4. PRIZE: 1 Grand Prize(s) will be offered. The Grand Prize consists of 1 trade paper copy of Steal the Stars and 1 hand crocheted alien doll. Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”) of the Prize: $40.99. The aggregate ARV of all prizes is $40.99 USD. The exact value will depend on where the winner resides and market conditions at the time of prize fulfillment. All prize details that are not expressly specified in these Official Rules will be determined by Sponsor in its discretion. The prize will be awarded if properly claimed. No substitution, cash redemption or transfer of the right to receive the prize is permitted, except in the discretion of Sponsor, which has the right to substitute the prize or any component of the prize with a prize or prize component of equal or greater value selected by Sponsor in its discretion. The prize consists only of the item(s) expressly specified in these Official Rules. All expenses or costs associated with the acceptance or use of the prize or any component of the prize are the responsibility of the winner. If a prize component consists of digital content, entrant may need a compatible reading application to read the content. The prize is awarded “as is” and without any warranty, except as required by law. In no event will more than the number of prizes stated in these Official Rules be awarded. FOR U.S. RESIDENTS: All federal, state and local taxes on the value of the prize are the responsibility of the winner. An IRS form 1099 will be issued if required by law.
  5. RELEASE AND LIMITATION OF LIABILITY: By entering the Sweepstakes, to the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, each entrant on behalf of himself or herself and anyone who succeeds to entrant’s rights and responsibilities including without limitation entrant’s heirs, executors, administrators, personal representatives, successors, assigns, agents, and attorneys, and with respect to minors entrant’s parents and legal guardians (collectively the “Entrant Parties”) releases Sponsor, each of Sponsor’s Affiliates, the licensees and licensors other than Entrant Parties including authors of each of the foregoing, all other companies involved in the development or operation of the Sweepstakes, the successors and assigns of each of the foregoing and the directors, officers, employees and agents of each of the foregoing (collectively, the “Released Parties”) from and against any and all claims and causes of action of any kind that entrant and/or the Entrant Parties ever had, now have or might in the future have arising out of or relating to the Sweepstakes, participation in the Sweepstakes, the use of the Website, the provision, acceptance or use of any prize or any component thereof or any use of the entrant’s name as permitted pursuant to these Official Rules, including without limitation any and all claims and causes of action: (a) relating to any personal injury, death or property damage or loss sustained by any entrant or any other person, (b) based upon any allegation of violation of the right of privacy or publicity, misappropriation, defamation, or violation of any other personal or proprietary right, (c) based upon any allegation of infringement of copyright, trademark, trade dress, patent, trade secrets, moral rights or any intellectual property right, or (d) or based upon any allegation of a violation of the laws, rules or regulations relating to personal information and data security. Each entrant on behalf of himself or herself and the Entrant Parties agrees not to assert any such claim or cause of action against any of the Released Parties. Each entrant on behalf of himself or herself and the Entrant Parties assumes the risk of, and all liability for, any injury, loss or damage caused, or claimed to be caused, by participation in this Sweepstakes, the use of the Website or the provision, acceptance or use of any prize or any component of any prize. The Released Parties are not responsible for, and will not have any liability in connection with, any typographical or other error in the printing of the offer, administration of the Sweepstakes or in the announcement of the prize. The Released Parties are not responsible for, and will not have any liability in connection with, late, lost, delayed, illegible, damaged, corrupted or incomplete entries, incorrect or inaccurate capture of, damage to, or loss of entries or entry information, or any other human, mechanical or technical error of any kind relating to the operation of the Website, communications or attempted communications with any entrant or Entrant Parties, the submission, collection, storage and/or processing of entries or the administration of the Sweepstakes. The term “Affiliate” of Sponsor means any entity that directly or indirectly, through one or more intermediaries, controls, is controlled by, or is under common control with Sponsor. The term “control” means the possession, directly or indirectly, of the power to direct or cause the direction of management and policies of an entity, or the ownership, directly or indirectly, of more than fifty percent (50%) of the equity interests of the entity.
  6. GENERAL RULES: Sponsor has the right, in its sole discretion, to modify these Official Rules (including without limitation by adjusting any of the dates and/or timeframes stipulated in these Official Rules) and to cancel, modify or suspend this Sweepstakes at any time in its discretion, including without limitation if a virus, bug, technical problem, entrant fraud or misconduct, or other cause beyond the control of the Sponsor corrupts the administration, integrity, security or proper operation of the Sweepstakes or if for any other reason Sponsor is not able to conduct the Sweepstakes as planned (including without limitation in the event the Sweepstakes is interfered with by any fire, flood, epidemic, earthquake, explosion, labor dispute or strike, act of God or of public enemy, communications failure, riot or civil disturbance, war (declared or undeclared), terrorist threat or activity, federal, state, provincial, territorial or local law, order or regulation or court order). In the event of termination of the Sweepstakes, a notice will be posted on the Website and a random drawing will be conducted to award the prize from among all eligible entries received prior to the time of termination. Sponsor has the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify or prohibit from participating in the Sweepstakes any individual who, in Sponsor’s discretion, Sponsor determines or believes (i) has tampered with the entry process or has undermined the legitimate operation of the Website or the Sweepstakes by cheating, hacking, deception or other unfair practices, (ii) has engaged in conduct that annoys, abuses, threatens or harasses any other entrant or any representative of Sponsor or (iii) has attempted or intends to attempt any of the foregoing. CAUTION: ANY ATTEMPT TO DELIBERATELY DAMAGE ANY WEBSITE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SWEEPSTAKES OR UNDERMINE THE LEGITIMATE OPERATION OF THIS SWEEPSTAKES IS A VIOLATION OF CRIMINAL AND CIVIL LAW. SHOULD SUCH AN ATTEMPT BE MADE, SPONSOR HAS THE RIGHT TO SEEK DAMAGES (INCLUDING ATTORNEYS’ FEES) FROM ANY PERSON INVOLVED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW. The use of agents or automated devices, programs or methods to submit entries is prohibited and Sponsor has the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify any entry that it believes may have been submitted using such an agent or automated device, program or method. In the event of a dispute regarding who submitted an entry, the entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the email address submitted at the time of entry. “Authorized account holder” means the person who is assigned an email address by an internet provider, online service provider or other organization (e.g., business, educational institute, etc.) that is responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted email address. An entrant may be required to provide proof (in a form acceptable to Sponsor, including, without limitation, government-issued photo identification) that he or she is the authorized account holder of the email address associated with the entry in question. All federal, state, provincial, territorial and local laws and regulations apply. All entries become the property of Sponsor and will not be verified or returned. By participating in this Sweepstakes, entrants on behalf of themselves, and to the extent permitted by law on behalf of the Entrant Parties agree to be bound by these Official Rules and the decisions of Sponsor, which are final and binding in all respects. These Official Rules may not be reprinted or republished in any way without the prior written consent of Sponsor.
  7. DISPUTES: By entering the Sweepstakes, each entrant on behalf of himself or herself and the Entrant Parties agrees that, to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, (a) any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with the Sweepstakes, or the provision, acceptance and/or use of any prize or prize component, will be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action (Note: Some jurisdictions do not allow restricting access to class actions. This provision will not apply to entrant if entrant lives in such a jurisdiction); (b) any and all claims, judgments and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, including costs associated with entering the Sweepstakes, but in no event attorneys’ fees; and (c) under no circumstances will any entrant or Entrant Party be permitted to obtain any award for, and each entrant and Entrant Party hereby waives all rights to claim, punitive, special, incidental or consequential damages and any and all rights to have damages multiplied or otherwise increased and any other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules or the rights and obligations of the entrants, Entrant Parties and Sponsor in connection with the Sweepstakes shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the State of New York in the United States of America without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules or provisions that would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the State of New York. Any legal proceedings arising out of this Sweepstakes or relating to these Official Rules shall be instituted only in the federal or state courts located in New York County in the State of New York, waiving any right to trial by jury, and each entrant and Entrant Party consents to jurisdiction therein with respect to any legal proceedings or disputes of whatever nature arising under or relating to these rules or the Sweepstakes. In the event of any conflict between these Official Rules and any Sweepstakes information provided elsewhere (including but not limited in advertising or marketing materials), these Official Rules shall prevail.
  8. USE OF INFORMATION: Personal information supplied is subject to applicable data protection laws and Sponsor’s Privacy Notice at https://us.macmillan.com/privacy-notice. By entering the sweepstakes, entrants acknowledge that they have read Sponsor’s Privacy Notice and hereby agree to Sponsor’s collection and use of their personal information in accordance with such laws and Privacy Notice.
  9. WINNER NAME AND RULES REQUESTS: For the name(s) of the winner(s), which will be available two weeks after the conclusion of the Entry Period, or a copy of these Official Rules, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Steal the Stars Sweepstakes, Tom Doherty Associates, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Winner name requests must be received by Sponsor within six months after the conclusion of the Entry Period.
  10. SPONSOR: Tom Doherty Associates, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

©2017 Macmillan. All rights reserved.





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Would you survive a Steal the Stars heist?

In the Tor Labs podcast Steal the Stars, former soldiers Dak and Matt try to pull off the ultimate heist. To escape their powerful employers and fund their life together, they’ll have to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and escape to parts unknown. Do you have what it takes to get away with grand theft extraterrestrial? Take our quiz and find out!

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Steal the Stars Episode 14: As Fierce, As Colossal, As All-Consuming

Image Placeholder of - 40The final episode of Steal the Stars is out today! If you haven’t started listening yet, catch up on the previous episodes here.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

Listen to Episode Fourteen: As Fierce, As Colossal, As All-Consuming

In an epic final showdown in the Texas desert – as Sierra closes in from all sides – Dak and Matt finally learn the truth about Moss.

Subscribe Today!

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Steal the Stars Episode 13: Matt-25

Placeholder of  -61A new episode of Steal the Stars is out today! If you haven’t started listening yet, catch up on the previous episodes here.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

Listen to Episode Thirteen: Matt-25

Dak and Matt hide out for the night with Matt’s ex-girlfriend Teresa, leading Dak to an unexpected moment of connection… and another unexpected moment that threatens to ruin everything.

Subscribe Today!

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Steal the Stars Episode 12: All That Sky

Image Place holder  of - 71A new episode of Steal the Stars is out today! If you haven’t started listening yet, catch up on the previous episodes here.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

Listen to Episode Twelve: All That Sky

Dak and Matt are finally on the road with their extraterrestrial contraband, but Sierra is hot on their heels. They’re finally forced to take refuge in the last place Dak wants to go.

Subscribe Today!

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Excerpt: Steal the Stars by Nat Cassidy

amazons bns booksamillions ibooks2 13 indiebounds

Poster Placeholder of - 69 Dakota “Dak” Prentiss guards the biggest secret in the world.

They call it “Moss.” It’s your standard grey alien from innumerable abduction stories. It still sits at the controls of the spaceship it crash-landed eleven years ago. A secret military base was built around the crash site to study both Moss and the dangerous technology it brought to Earth.

The day Matt Salem joins her security team, Dak’s whole world changes.

It’s love at first sight—which is a problem, since they both signed ironclad contracts vowing not to fraternize with other military personnel. If they run, they’ll be hunted for what they know. Dak and Matt have only way to be together: do the impossible. Steal Moss and sell the secret of its existence.

And they can’t afford a single mistake.

Steal the Stars will be available on November 7th. Please enjoy this excerpt.

1

Right before I heard the guy’s collarbone break, I remembered a print hanging in my grandmother’s house. In the guest bathroom, written in an innocuous font over a pastel flower: “There’s nothing more satisfying than seeing joy on the face of a friend.

My grandmother had obviously never thrown a guy twice her size across a room before.

Now, look, I’m not a violent person by nature. I don’t actually enjoy fighting. It stresses me out and makes me feel the bad kind of tingly for the rest of the day. But when a guy sidles up to you in one of only a handful of bars you have the option to patronize and his breath smells impossibly of socks and he leads with maybe the tritest pickup line in history, making it both annoying and insulting? Well, you make sacrifices.

“Excuse me,” he breathed, he exhumed, and if I’d had a force shield I would have deployed it. He tried again, his voice low and (snort) sensual. “Excuuuuse me.”

I made the mistake of responding. Not much—barely more than a sustained blink, not even looking in his direction—but he took it as leave to continue. It set him up for the clincher: “Was your daddy a thief?”

# # #

The thing nobody tells you about the end of your life is sometimes you have so much damn longer to live afterward.

I’m talking days, weeks—hell, decades—from when your life ends until your body finally gets the message. In my case, my life ended the day after I threw this guy across the bar and I’ve been running ever since. I didn’t even get, like, a five-minute break to mourn.

And it’s all your fault, by the way.

Of course, I say my life ended that next day, but the truth is I’ve had difficulty pinning down the exact moment it happened. Believe me, I’ve tried. I really can’t help myself—I may not have been a scientist, but overthinking is something you catch hanging around them, like a disease.

When was the precise moment my hull breached, my engine failed, my horse went tits up? Was it when I looked at your bare chest and realized I could see your heartbeat? Maybe it was before then, that first handshake, looking into those eyes? Maybe it’s the most accurate to say my life ended the day I dropped everything and started working at Quill Marine in the first place, signing my life (and all my fraternization rights) away?

Yes? No? All of the above? Who fucking knows? Technically, it’s not the bullet that kills you, it’s the lack of oxygen to your brain due to the ruptured blood vessels, right? You parse something long enough and it loses all meaning.

Except those eyes. If anything, the more I parsed those eyes, the more meaning they took on.

Anyway. Back to the guy at the bar.

# # #

“I’m asking, was your daddy a thief?”

I’m asking myself how a guy’s mouth can smell so much of feet.

I usually have one drink on the way home. No more and, if there’s a just and loving God, no less. I could just as easily have that one drink in my house, but for whatever reason I prefer not to drink in silence.

There are a surprising number of bars around this tiny town—or maybe it’s not that surprising, if you’ve ever lived in a tiny town—but I usually stick to this one, the Heron. It’s got a better juke. Also, of course, consistency helps avoid unwanted run-ins with co-workers. Again: fraternization.

“Because he musta been a thief—”

Here it comes.

“—cuz he musta had to steal the stars from heaven—”

Feeeeeet.

“—to put them in your eyes.”

Uuuggh. At last, I turn to him, hoping these eyes he’s so fond of have somehow found the ability to shoot poison.

“No.” I turn my attention back to my glass.

It’s a word I’m sure he’s heard a lot. It whisks off him like a drop of water off a windshield.

“I, uh, I see you in here a lot, you know.” He’s rubbing his fingers back and forth across the bar while he talks, absently, clumsily. Like a piss-poor massage. I put my rocks glass down as close to those knobby worms as I can, trying to send out the signal that I’m okay with crushing any part of him that gets too close to me.

“I’m not gonna fuck you.” I make direct eye contact once again.

His eyes widen. “Whoa! Who said anything about—? Jesus, I’m just trying to talk to you here. Just talk to me for a second! People always look at me cross-eyed but once we get to talking, they like me!”

There’s a trace of sullenness there. I’ve hit a sore spot. And here’s my next mistake: I’m a sucker for accidental vulnerability. It fascinates me. It makes me want to stay and watch what happens. So I don’t get up and leave. I let him talk a little bit longer.

“So … you work at Quill Marine.”

“What was your first clue?” I ask, picking up my glass again.

“Hmmmm. The uniform!” he responds with a smug smile. Oh, no, it thinks it’s clever. I’m, of course, still wearing the charcoal canvas coveralls that I foolishly hoped would be shapeless enough to render me invisible. Stitched on the arm are the words “Quill Marine.”

“That’s really impressive,” I say.

“Hey.” He pulls out the stool next to me and sits down—actually sits down next to me, and somewhere in the back of my mind I’m already preparing for violence. “What is it you guys do in there, anyway?”

His voice has dropped to a conspiratorial tone. I match it.

“Are we going to have a problem here?” I ask.

“I mean,” he chuckles, “we kinda already have a problem here. You guys … you don’t hire local. Why is that?”

He’s still smiling, but poisonous clouds are gathering around the edges of his voice. Another sore spot. I have little doubt he came over here to flirt first, but, if that mission winds up being a failure, he might as well air some grievances. Never underestimate the ability of a spurned man to shuffle emotions like a monte dealer.

I don’t respond and he keeps going: “No, seriously. Why is that? It’s not like there’s a ton of jobs out here. But then there’s big ol’ Quill Marine, taking up valuable real estate and refusing to let people sign on. I mean, what, we don’t make ’em good enough for you guys out here?”

He’s still smiling, trying to show me this is all just harmless, charming ribbing, but his mouth has tightened and the look is grotesque.

I don’t hear the bar door open behind us.

“I bet I know why,” he goes on. “You guys are making weapons in there. That’s it, isn’t it?” He nods at my lack of comment. “Yeah. You know … my cousin made a delivery there once. He says he saw weapons inside. He swears it. Just lying around.”

No. No. It’s too much. Too stupid, too confident, too goddamn aromatic. I have to respond.

“I can promise you,” I finally say, regretting the decision immediately. “Nobody’s cousin saw weapons in there.”

His face lights up.

“Ah! See, but: now you’re interested in me.”

Maybe it all could have been defused. This wasn’t the first time I’ve gotten an earful like this from a disgruntled townie. Maybe I could have talked him down, shit-talked paper tiger versions of my higher-ups or the company that owned Quill. Maybe I could have avoided what happened next. But, then, enter: her.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

The guy blanches and spins around on his stool.

“Janey?!”

What the fuck are you doing?!

Janey is standing in the middle of the bar, having just walked in and spotted her man, dear old Feetbreath, chatting to the gorgeous specimen in the charcoal coveralls at the bar. Janey is upset. Janey looks like a bedraggled heroine straight out of a Springsteen song: long-suffering, exhausted, ready to snap.

Feetbreath’s voice does an impressive switch from wannabe lothario to whiny teenager: “Jeeeeeeeesus, I can’t get one minute to myself?”

Janey’s not to be deterred. She’s probably been practicing this: “You wait ’til I’m asleep and you come up here—you wait ’til I’m asleep and creep out like a fucking raccoon getting in the garbage?!”

“I can’t get one minute to get outta that shithole and clear my head?”

Meanwhile, I’m draining the rest of my rocks glass into my face. I’ll be goddamned if this soap opera is going to rob me of my hard-earned buzz.

But, then, with impressive speed, Janey’s on the other side of me, actually holding my arm.

“How long have you been seeing him?”

I almost choke on my whiskey.

“What?”

“He’s been with me six years. I bet he didn’t tell you that.”

Feetbreath pulls her off of me not a second too soon.

“I’m just talking to her! Can’t I talk to a person?”

“Has he mentioned me at all?!” Janey is shouting into my ear.

“I can’t just get out of the house and talk to a person?!” Feetbreath is shouting at her through my other ear.

“You’re supposed to talk to me!”

“I can’t get a break from your voice for like ten fucking seconds—”

“I wash your pants, I suck your dick—you wanna talk to somebody, you talk to—”

SMACK!

Okay.

Let it be said, Feetbreath started it. Let it be said, once again, that I’m not ordinarily a violent person, and that very much includes having a zero tolerance policy toward men who strike women. Not that I haven’t met a huge amount of women who could easily hold their own in a fight—it’s just damn rude to hit someone smaller than you first.

He got Janey in the eye. She stumbles backward, stunned, almost falling. And it looks like he might try for another shot.

So I grab his arm. Hard.

“Huh? Get the fuck off of me.”

“Walk out with me,” I tell him, calmly, evenly.

“Get your fucking hands off of—you wanna die?”

“I wanna walk out with you. Come on.”

He’s twisting, trying to get free. Ain’t gonna happen.

The bartender has been watching this the whole time, of course. We are far more interesting than whatever catch-the-ball breakdown is happening on ESPN right now. He finally chimes in: “Dak, you need me to—”

“Nope. I’m good,” I tell him. “In fact, I’m great.”

And it’s true. Because at the very least, I’d managed to finish my drink.

# # #

My name was Dak, by the way. Short for Dakota. But you know that.

# # #

I start dragging Feetbreath to the door. He is actually grunting, “Do you wanna die?” at me, which is possibly the funniest thing I have ever heard.

A few feet from the door, I catch a glimpse of Janey. She’s reconnecting with the world, and her increasingly clear eyes catch mine. First with shock … then an unmistakable hatred. It actually takes me aback for a moment. Just a moment, long enough to loosen my grip on Feetbreath, who manages to twist around enough to position his free arm exactly where I don’t want it.

“Cuz if you wanna die, I’ll—”

And he swings at me.

He telegraphs the punch like a year in advance. I have plenty of time to stroll out of the way. He tries and fails again. And this time I engage.

Three rules for winning a fight against someone way bigger than you:

One. Don’t let them get a single hit in. I’m stocky and solid, but this guy is lumberjack big and has almost half a foot on me. All the training in the world doesn’t protect you from sheer poundage, that’s just physics.

Two. Every one of your hits has to count. No chest, no upper back, no shoulder. You gotta aim for solar plexus, kidneys, balls if that’s an option. Dirty? Sure, I guess. Every fight is dirty. And shame on you if you jump into one you don’t plan on winning.

Three. You have about thirty seconds. If you don’t put them down in thirty, draw or run.

In this particular case, about ten seconds into the scuffle, he gives me a wide, sloppy cross that I basically use as a trebuchet.

# # #

This brings me back to my original point.

Sorry, Grandma. There is nothing, nothing, more satisfying than throwing a man twice your size—especially one who just hit a woman after sloppily trying to worm his way into your pants—all the way across a goddamn alehouse.

“Satisfaction” is the right word for it. That feeling of his bulk leaving yours, of shrugging him into orbit, handing him over to the gods of gravity as if to say, “This is yours, do with it what you will”? It satisfies. It feels like everything is operating the way it’s supposed to.

It would be a long time before I got to feel that again.

# # #

Feetbreath is not trained in the art of being thrown. There’s a sickening crack we all hear when he lands, followed by a howl of pain one slow synapse later.

Whoops.

Janey rushes to his side. Meanwhile, the bartender looks at me and shrugs.

“I had to call the cops, Dak. This is your chance to get out of here.”

There’s no malice in his voice. He’s doing me a solid. Rules are rules and business is business. I slap an extra ten dollars down on the bar.

Janey is cradling Feetbreath. The area around her eye is already beginning to swell.

“Look at what you did to him!” she screams at me. There’s such hurt in her voice you’d almost think it was her who just snapped a bone.

“In about thirty minutes you’ll be able to see what he did to you. Hope you look good in purple.”

I mostly mumbled that second part to myself, though. She was already screaming over me.

“It’s not your business! It’s none of your business!” And then she turns her attention to her wounded, moaning partner. “Baby, baby, are you all right? Baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll do better, I’m sorry.”

The bartender picks up my ten dollars and says to me, “I’ll say it was someone I don’t know.”

I tell him to go ahead and say it was me. The cops won’t give me a problem. I work at Quill Marine.

And with that I head for the door.

On my way out, though, I turn back and survey the scene. Janey’s on her knees, helping her man stand up. She’s babbling to him in soft, soothing tones.

“I didn’t know, baby, I won’t bother you so much, I didn’t know. I didn’t know I was bothering you so much, I’ll stop. Let me get you home.”

Snapshot, I thought. Right there: everything you need to know about love in one handy image. So neat and tidy you could put it on a print and hang it in Grandma’s house.

I walked out of there, shaking my head, suddenly very tired.

# # #

That’s not my last real memory of the woman that was Dak, but it’s certainly the most representative. And like I said, by some point the next morning, that life was over.

And like I said, it’s all your fault.

But I’m not mad at you. Not for ending that life, at least. That life wasn’t all that spectacular to begin with.

Besides, here’s something people have said about the end: sometimes paradise is waiting on the other side.

It might only last a few moments. It might take a whole lotta hell to get there. But it’s there.

So let’s fucking get to it already.

 

Copyright © Nate Cassidy

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Steal the Stars Episode 11: Checkpoints

Image Place holder  of - 46A new episode of Steal the Stars is out today! If you haven’t started listening yet, catch up on the previous episodes here.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

Listen to Episode Eleven: Checkpoints

Getting Moss’s body out of Hangar 11 is one thing. Getting it out of Quill Marine is quite another. And there’s a lot of checkpoints – and angry people – standing between Dak & Mat and freedom.

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Steal the Stars Episode 10: Protocol

Image Place holder  of - 42A new episode of Steal the Stars is out today! If you haven’t started listening yet, catch up on the previous episodes here.

Steal the Stars is the story of Dakota Prentiss and Matt Salem, two government employees guarding the biggest secret in the world: a crashed UFO. Despite being forbidden to fraternize, Dak and Matt fall in love and decide to escape to a better life on the wings of an incredibly dangerous plan: they’re going to steal the alien body they’ve been guarding and sell the secret of its existence.

Listen to Episode Ten: Protocol

By the end of this day, Dak and Matt will either be dead… or they’ll have just pulled off the most incredible heist of all time.

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