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Books the TPG Staff is Grateful For!

Where would we be without our books? is a tough question, and not just because we work for Tor. Before we were workers in publishing, we were people who enjoyed books, and we’re still that. We always will be.

In spirit of the season, here’s some of the books that Tor staff are thankful for this year.


9781250244079A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher

This year I am thankful for T. Kingfisher and the universe she’s created. Her worlds include demon chickens, girls who are toads, and evil sorceress mothers. Her books are so comforting–lovely, fun, heartwarming, and (my fave) scary.
Jordan Hanley, Senior Marketing Manager (she/her)

9781250874627 (1)Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Chuck Tingle, World’s Greatest Author, tells us every day that Love is Real and Camp Damascus proves that sentiment, showing that even in the darkest, most nightmarish places, the power of love and true joy can guide us home.

Rachel Taylor, Senior Marketing Manager (she/her)


9781250884831The West Passage by Jared Pechaček

This year I am thankful for The West Passage, a glorious explosion of imagination that blew my mind wide open. If you’re looking for an utterly original reading experience that includes giant, man-eating ladies, eldritch horrors, and a crumbling castle that is really more like a city, then look no further. And did I mention that this book has illustrations? Beautiful, medieval-style illustrations? Brilliant.

Emily Honer, Marketing Associate (she/her)


9780765387578The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

Oh, to read this book for the first time again. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue left me deeply moved. This utterly romantic tale follows a fiercely independent village girl, and the sacrifices she’ll make for that freedom.

Tiana Tolbert, Digital Marketing Manager (she/her)


9781250849458Even Though I Knew the End by C. L. Polk

Beautiful and heart-wrenching writing, with characters that stay with you long after the last page.

Valeria Castorena, Marketing Assistant (she/her)


What books are you thankful for? Let us know in the comments! 

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November 11th Book Recs: Charms, Spells, Witches, and More!

November 11th is MADE for magic! Known as 11/11, this day is all about good vibes, manifesting dreams, and maybe even a touch of mystical energy. What better way to embrace that spirit than by diving into tales of witchcraft, dark secrets, and spellbinding adventures?

Dive into our lineup of charming reads below!


9781250811967Witch Queen of Redwinter by Ed McDonald

Step into a world of grit and intrigue where Raine, a young woman with the unique ability to see the dead, embarks on a journey to confront her own destiny. Filled with dark magic and moral complexities, Witch Queen of Redwinter crafts a beautifully eerie atmosphere, perfect for fans of intense, character-driven fantasy.

book of night by holly blackBook of Night by Holly Black

Holly Black’s foray into adult fantasy introduces Charlie Hall, a con artist skilled in the art of manipulating shadows. This noir-tinged tale is drenched in dark magic, where secrets can alter reality and shadows hold power. With its gritty undertones and layered world, Book of Night is a compelling read for anyone intrigued by the darker side of magic.

9781250852496After the Forest by Kell Woods

A haunting twist on fairy tale lore, After the Forest reimagines classic tales through the eyes of a witch navigating a cursed land. Woods blends folklore with raw emotion, inviting readers into a world where old stories take on new meaning and witches must confront both magical and human challenges. This novel is a delightful tribute to the charm and danger of the enchanted forest.

A Sorceress Comes to CallA Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher brings her signature wit and creativity to A Sorceress Comes to Call, a magical retelling filled with unforgettable characters and a wild, chaotic charm. With dark magic, enchanted animals, and a sorceress mother with a penchant for mischief, this story is ideal for readers who crave whimsy and witchcraft in equal measure.

9781250906298Princess of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

Magic and royalty collide in Princess of Dune, a blend of sci-fi and fantasy that weaves witch-like power into the legendary Dune universe. For those who love high-stakes drama, political intrigue, and a fresh take on a classic saga, this novel is an enchanting addition to the Dune series that fans of mystical forces will relish.

9781250884855One for My Enemy by Olivie Blake

Olivie Blake spins a tale of rivalry and romance in One for My Enemy, where two families steeped in magic clash in a spellbinding, modern-day New York. This bewitching novel is laced with themes of loyalty, vengeance, and forbidden love, making it a darkly captivating read for fans of atmospheric urban fantasy.

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Translated Books from Tor!

Step into a world of necromancy, murder, and twisted magic. A world in need of a hero.

From award-winning Korean author Sung-il Kim & translated by the world-renowned Anton Hur, Blood of the Old Kings is OFFICIALLY out now! And what better way to celebrate than with a list of books with AMAZING translators? We’ve curated a special list of translated books that showcase the artistry of world-class translators. Dive in below!


9781250895332Blood of the Old Kings by Sung-il Kim; translated by Anton Hur

In an Empire run on necromancy, dead sorcerers are the lifeblood. Their corpses are wrapped in chains and drained of magic to feed the unquenchable hunger for imperial conquest. Born with magic, Arienne has become resigned to her dark fate. But when the voice of a long-dead sorcerer begins to speak inside her head, she listens. There may be another future for her, if she’s willing to fight for it. Miles away, beneath a volcano, a seven-eyed dragon also wears the Empire’s chains. Before the imperial fist closed around their lands, it was the people’s sacred guardian. Loran, a widowed swordswoman, is the first to kneel before the dragon in decades. She comes with a desperate plea, and will leave with a sword of dragon-fang in hand and a great purpose before her. In the heart of the Imperial capital, Cain is known as a man who gets things done. When his best friend and mentor is found murdered, he will leave no stone unturned to find those responsible, even if it means starting a war.Step into a world of necromancy, murder, and twisted magic. A world in need of a hero.

the three body problem by cixin liuThe Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu

The Three-Body Problem is the first novel in the groundbreaking, Hugo Award-winning series from China’s most beloved science fiction author, Cixin Liu.

Set against the backdrop of China’s Cultural Revolution, a secret military project sends signals into space to establish contact with aliens. An alien civilization on the brink of destruction captures the signal and plans to invade Earth. Meanwhile, on Earth, different camps start forming, planning to either welcome the superior beings and help them take over a world seen as corrupt, or to fight against the invasion. The result is a science fiction masterpiece of enormous scope and vision.

9780765398307Black Leviathan by Bernd Perplies; Translated by Lucy Van Cleef

Melville’s Moby Dick unfolds in a world of dragon hunters in Black Leviathan, an epic revenge fantasy from German award-winning author Bernd Perplies.

Beware! A shadow will cover you, larger than that cast by any other dragon of this world. Black as the lightless chasm from whence it was born at the beginning of time. In the coastal city Skargakar, residents make a living from hunting dragons and use them for everything from clothing to food, while airborne ships hunt them in the white expanse of a cloud sea, the Cloudmere. Lian does his part carving the kyrillian crystals that power the ships through the Cloudmere, but when he makes an enemy of a dangerous man, Lian ships out on the next vessel available as a drachenjager, or dragon hunter. He chooses the wrong ship. A fanatic captain, hunts more than just any dragon. His goal is the Firstborn Gargantuan—and Adaron is prepared to sacrifice everything for revenge.

9780765389336Waste Tide by Chen Qiufan; translated by Ken Liu

Award-winning author Chen Qiufan’s Waste Tide is a thought-provoking vision of the future.

Translated by Ken Liu, who brought Cixin Liu’s Hugo Award-winning The Three Body Problem to English-speaking readers. Mimi is drowning in the world’s trash. She’s a waste worker on Silicon Isle, where electronics — from cell phones and laptops to bots and bionic limbs — are sent to be recycled. These amass in towering heaps, polluting every spare inch of land. On this island off the coast of China, the fruits of capitalism and consumer culture come to a toxic end. Mimi and thousands of migrant waste workers like her are lured to Silicon Isle with the promise of steady work and a better life. They’re the lifeblood of the island’s economy, but are at the mercy of those in power. A storm is brewing, between ruthless local gangs, warring for control. Ecoterrorists, set on toppling the status quo. American investors, hungry for profit. And a Chinese-American interpreter, searching for his roots. As these forces collide, a war erupts — between the rich and the poor; between tradition and modern ambition; between humanity’s past and its future. Mimi, and others like her, must decide if they will remain pawns in this war or change the rules of the game altogether.

Order your copy of Blood of the Old Kings below!

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Take The Tor Halloween Quiz!

Looking for the perfect eerie read to get into the Halloween spirit? Take this quick quiz to find out which spooky book you should dive into next!

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Books For Former Theater Kids!

Theater kids…this one is for you. In honor of the release of The Naming Song by Jedediah Berry, we’re celebrating the magic of theater with a list of books that are PERFECT for former theater kids. Whether you were center stage or behind the scenes, the creativity, drama, and unforgettable characters of theater live on in these must-read stories. If you’re looking for a read that reminds you of the good ole’ theater days, this list is for you!


9781250907981The Naming Song by Jedediah Berry

The Naming Song by Jedediah Berry is a perfect pick for former theater kids who understand the power of performance and storytelling. In a world where words have disappeared, a nameless courier joins a traveling theater troupe that uses their performances to remind people of the time when language still existed. The novel beautifully captures the essence of theater—bringing forgotten stories and emotions to life through creativity, expression, and imagination. For theater lovers, the idea of a troupe traveling to preserve culture and meaning through performance will hit close to home, echoing the timeless connection between art, words, and the stage.

the first bright thing by j r dawson The First Bright Thing by J.R. Dawson

The First Bright Thing by J.R. Dawson is a magical and heartfelt journey that former theater kids will adore. Set in a traveling circus after World War I, this novel centers around Rin and her troupe of misfits who use their unique abilities to bring light to a world darkened by trauma. Much like theater, it’s about found family, believing in magic, and performing even in the face of adversity—a perfect read for anyone who’s ever felt the pull of the stage.

one for my enemy by olivie blake One for My Enemy by Olivie Blake

One for My Enemy by Olivie Blake is perfect for former theater kids who love high-stakes drama and complex relationships. This modern-day fantasy, centered around two rival magical families in New York, feels like a Shakespearean tragedy come to life. With its intricate character dynamics, forbidden romances, and tense confrontations, the story mirrors the emotional intensity of the stage. The larger-than-life characters, combined with the suspenseful, almost theatrical plot twists, make this novel feel like it belongs on the boards of a grand theater.

A Sorceress Comes to Call A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher 

A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher is a delightful retelling of the classic tale The Goose Girl, perfect for former theater kids who love fresh takes on familiar stories. Kingfisher’s unique storytelling style brings a theatrical flair to this fairy tale, with moments of suspense, laughter, and magical intrigue. If you’re a fan of reimagined classics and love a good ensemble cast, this one will feel like stepping into a whimsical, magical play.

9781250788955A Power Unbound by Freya Marske

A Power Unbound by Freya Marske is an ideal pick for former theater kids who crave drama, romance, and high-stakes magical intrigue. Set in an alternate Edwardian England, the novel is the third in the Last Binding series, and its grand sense of adventure and powerful character dynamics will resonate with those who love the theater. With its rich, layered relationships, tension-filled plot, and complex emotions, the book feels like a period drama unfolding on stage. Perfect for fans of historical fantasy with a theatrical twist!

Order your copy of The Naming Song below!

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Fall 2024 Reading Quiz!!!

Fall is here, and it’s time for some cozy reads! Just answer a few fun questions, and we’ll match you with the ideal book to lose yourself in this season. Happy reading!

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Every Book Coming from Tor This Summer 2024

Ready to discover the hottest reads of summer? Get ready, because this year, our list is SMOKIN’. Check out everything coming from Tor Books in Summer 2024 here!


June 25

 

The Daughter's WarThe Daughter’s War by Christopher Buehlman

Galva — Galvicha to her three brothers, two of whom the goblins will kill — has defied her family’s wishes and joined the army’s untested new unit, the Raven Knights. They march toward a once-beautiful city overrun by the goblin horde, accompanied by scores of giant war corvids. Made with the darkest magics, these fearsome black birds may hold the key to stopping the goblins in their war to make cattle of mankind. The road to victory is bloody, and goblins are clever and merciless. The Raven Knights can take nothing for granted — not the bonds of family, nor the wisdom of their leaders, nor their own safety against the dangerous war birds at their side. But some hopes are worth any risk.

9781250877314Foul Days by Genoveva Dimova

As a witch in the walled city of Chernograd, Kosara has plenty of practice treating lycanthrope bites, bargaining with kikimoras, and slaying bloodsucking upirs. There’s only one monster she can’t defeat: her ex, the Zmey, known as the Tsar of Monsters. She’s defied him one too many times and now he’s hunting her. Betrayed by someone close to her, Kosara’s only choice is to trade her shadow—the source of her powers—for a quick escape. Unfortunately, Kosara soon develops the deadly sickness that plagues shadowless witches—and only reclaiming her magic can cure her. To find it, she’s forced to team up with a suspiciously honorable detective. Even worse, all the clues point in a single direction: To get her shadow back, Kosara will have to face the Foul Days’ biggest threats without it. And she’s only got twelve days. But in a city where everyone is out for themselves, who can Kosara trust to assist her in outwitting the biggest monster from her past?

July 9

 

The Sky on Fire by Jenn LyonsThe Sky on Fire by Jenn Lyons

Anahrod lives only for survival, forging her own way through the harsh jungles of the Deep with her titan drake by her side. Even when an adventuring party saves her from capture by a local warlord, she is eager to return to her solitary life. But this is no ordinary rescue. It’s Anahrod’s past catching up with her. These cunning misfits—and their frustratingly appealing dragonrider ringleader—intend to spirit her away to the dragon-ruled sky cities, where they need her help to steal from a dragon’s hoard. There’s only one problem: the hoard in question belongs to the current regent, Neveranimas—and she wants Anahrod dead.

9781250344458A Conjuring of Light by V. E. Schwab (new edition)

Londons fall and kingdoms rise while darkness sweeps the Maresh Empire—and the fraught balance of magic blossoms into dangerous territory while heroes and foes struggle alike. The direct sequel to A Gathering of Shadows, and the final book in the Shades of Magic epic fantasy series, A Conjuring of Light sees Schwab reach a thrilling culmination concerning the fate of beloved protagonists—and old enemies.

July 16

 

9781250837929Blood Jade by Julia Vee and Ken Bebelle

Emiko Soong, newly minted Sentinel of San Francisco, just can’t catch a break. Just after she becomes the guardian for a sentient city, a murder strikes close to home. Called by the city and one of the most powerful clans to investigate, she traces the killer whose scent signature bears a haunting similarity to her mother’s talent. The trail will lead her back to Tokyo where the thread she pulls threatens to unravel her whole world and bring dark family secrets to light. Meanwhile, the General rises in the East and Emiko must fight the hidden enemies of his growing army who are amped up on Blood Jade, while keeping her promises to her brother Tatsuya as he prepares for his tourney. Her duties as Sentinel and her loyalties collide when she must choose between hiding her deepest shame or stopping the General’s relentless march.

July 23

 

9781250871282Gravity Lost by L. M. Sagas

After thwarting a space station disaster and planetary destruction, the Ambit crew thought turning Isaiah Drestyn over to the Union would be the end of their troubles. Turns out, it’s only the start. Drestyn is a walking encyclopedia of dirty secrets, and everyone wants a piece of him—the Trust, the Union, even the Guild. Someone wants him bad enough to kill, and with the life of one of their own on the line, the Ambit crew must jail-break the very man they helped capture and expose some of the secrets he’s been keeping before it’s too late. In the Spiral, everything has a price. In their fight to protect what they love, Eoan, Nash, Saint, and Jal will confront some ugly truths about their enemies, and even uglier truths about their friends. But nothing will come close to the truths they’ll learn about themselves. You can’t always fix what’s broken … and sometimes, it’s better that way.

July 30

 

9781250890375Brothersong by TJ Klune

In the ruins of Caswell, Maine, Carter Bennett learned the truth of what had been right in front of him the entire time. And then it—he—was gone. Desperate for answers, Carter takes to the road, leaving family and the safety of his pack behind, all in the name of a man he only knows as a feral wolf. But therein lies the danger: wolves are pack animals, and the longer Carter is on his own, the more his mind slips toward the endless void of Omega insanity. But he pushes on, following the trail left by Gavin. Gavin, the son of Robert Livingstone. The half-brother of Gordo Livingstone. What Carter finds will change the course of the wolves forever. Because Gavin’s history with the Bennett pack goes back further than anyone knows, a secret kept hidden by Carter’s father, Thomas Bennett. And with this knowledge comes a price: the sins of the fathers now rest upon the shoulders of their sons.

August 6

 

A Sorceress Comes to CallA Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher

Cordelia knows her mother is . . . unusual. Their house doesn’t have any doors between rooms—there are no secrets in this house—and her mother doesn’t allow Cordelia to have a single friend. Unless you count Falada, her mother’s beautiful white horse. The only time Cordelia feels truly free is on her daily rides with him. But more than simple eccentricity sets her mother apart. Other mothers don’t force their daughters to be silent and motionless for hours, sometimes days, on end. Other mothers aren’t evil sorcerers. When her mother unexpectedly moves them into the manor home of a wealthy older Squire and his kind but keen-eyed sister, Hester, Cordelia knows this welcoming pair are to be her mother’s next victims. But Cordelia feels at home for the very first time among these people, and as her mother’s plans darken, she must decide how to face the woman who raised her to save the people who have become like family.

9781250269362Devil’s Gun by Cat Rambo

Life’s hard when you’re on the run from a vengeful pirate-king…

When Niko and her crew find that the intergalactic Gate they’re planning on escaping through is out of commission, they make the most of things, creating a pop-up restaurant to serve the dozens of other stranded ships. But when an archaeologist shows up claiming to be able to fix the problem, Niko smells something suspicious cooking. Nonetheless, they can’t pass up the chance to find the weapon that could stop Tubal Last before he can take his revenge. There, in one of the most dangerous places in the Known Universe, each of them will face ghosts from their past. Meanwhile, the ship, You Sexy Thing, contemplates what it wants from life—which may be very different from Niko and the rest of the crew.

August 13

 

9780765382924Glass Houses by Madeline Ashby

Luckily, those who survived have found a beautiful, fully-stocked private palace, with all the latest technological updates (though one without connection to the outside world). The house, however, has more secrets than anyone might have guessed, and a much darker reason for having been built and left behind. Kristen, the hyper-competent “chief emotional manager” (a position created by her eccentric, boyish billionaire boss, Sumter) is trying to keep her colleagues stable throughout this new challenge, but staying sane seems to be as much of a challenge as staying alive. Being a woman in tech has always meant having to be smarter than anyone expects–and Kristen’s knack for out-of-the-box problem-solving and quick thinking has gotten her to the top of her field. But will a killer instinct be enough to survive the island?

The Doors of MidnightThe Doors of Midnight by R.R. Virdi

Some stories are hidden for a reason. All tales have a price. And every debt must be paid.

I killed three men as a child and earned the name Bloodletter. Then I set fire to the fabled Ashram. I’ve been a bird and robbed a merchant king of a ransom of gold. And I have crossed desert sands and cutthroat alleys to repay my debt. I’ve stood before the eyes of god, faced his judgement, and cast aside the thousand arrows that came with it. And I have passed through the Doors of Midnight and lived to tell the tale. I have traded one hundred and one stories with a creature as old as time, and survived with only my cleverness, a candle, and a broken promise. And most recently of all, I have killed a prince, though the stories say I have killed more than one. My name is Ari. These are my legends. And these are my lies.

September 3

 

9781250319722Sisterhood of Dune by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson

It is 83 years after the last thinking machines were destroyed in the Battle of Corrin, after Faykan Butler took the name of Corrino and established himself as the first Emperor of a new Imperium. The war hero Vorian Atreides has turned his back on politics and Salusa Secundus. The descendants of the disgraced Abulurd Harkonnen have sworn vengeance against Vor, blaming him for the downfall of their noble family. Raquella Berto-Anirul has formed the Bene Gesserit School and, through a terrible ordeal, has become the first Reverend Mother. The descendants of Aurelius Venport and Norma Cenva use mutated, spice-saturated Navigators who fly precursors of Heighliners. And Gilbertus Albans, ward of the hated thinking machine Erasmus, is teaching humans to become Mentats…while hiding an unbelievable secret. Led by the fanatic Manford Torondo, the Butlerian movement, fiercely opposed to all forms of “dangerous technology,” sweeps across the known universe in mobs, millions strong, destroying everything in its path.

September 10

 

9781250357243The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune (new edition)

A beautiful new hardcover edition of one of the best-loved and best-selling fantasy novels of the past decade, New York Times bestselling author TJ Klune’s The House in the Cerulean Sea, featuring aqua sprayed edges!

9781250881205Somewhere Beyond the Sea by TJ Klune

Featuring gorgeous golden yellow sprayed edges! Somewhere Beyond the Sea is the hugely anticipated sequel to TJ Klune’s The House in the Cerulean Sea, one of the best-loved and best-selling fantasy novels of the past decade.

A magical house. A secret past. A summons that could change everything.

Arthur Parnassus lives a good life, built on the ashes of a bad one. He’s the headmaster of a strange orphanage on a distant and peculiar island, and he hopes to soon be the adoptive father to the six magical and so-called dangerous children who live there.
Arthur works hard and loves with his whole heart so none of the children ever feel the neglect and pain that he once felt as an orphan on that very same island so long ago. And he is not alone: joining him is the love of his life, Linus Baker, a former caseworker in the Department in Charge of Magical Youth; Zoe Chapelwhite, the island’s sprite; and her girlfriend, Mayor Helen Webb. Together, they will do anything to protect the children. But when Arthur is summoned to make a public statement about his dark past, he finds himself at the helm of a fight for the future that his family, and all magical people, deserve. And when a new magical child hopes to join them on their island home—one who finds power in calling himself monster, a name Arthur worked so hard to protect his children from—Arthur knows they’re at a breaking point: their family will either grow stronger than ever or fall apart.

Welcome back to Marsyas Island. This is Arthur’s story.

September 24

 

9781250269393Rumor Has It by Cat Rambo

The crew of the You Sexy Thing have laid a course for Coralind Station, hoping the station’s famed gardens will provide an opportunity to regroup, recoup, and mourn their losses while while finding a way to track down their enemy, pirate king Tubal Last. All Niko wants to do is pry their insurance money from the bank and see if an old friend might be able to help them find Last. Unfortunately, old friends and enemies aren’t the only unreliable elements awaiting her and the crew at Coralind. Each will have to face themselves—the good and the bad—in order to come together before they lose everything.

 

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Summer Reads Quiz 2024

Summer is here, and it’s time for some fresh reads! Answer a few questions, and we’ll help you find the perfect book for your summer adventures.

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Excerpt Reveal: A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher

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A Sorceress Comes to Call

From New York Times bestselling and Hugo Award-winning author T. Kingfisher comes Sorceress Comes to Call—a dark reimagining of the Brothers Grimm’s “The Goose Girl,” rife with secrets, murder, and forbidden magic.

Cordelia knows her mother is . . . unusual. Their house doesn’t have any doors between rooms—there are no secrets in this house—and her mother doesn’t allow Cordelia to have a single friend. Unless you count Falada, her mother’s beautiful white horse. The only time Cordelia feels truly free is on her daily rides with him.

But more than simple eccentricity sets her mother apart. Other mothers don’t force their daughters to be silent and motionless for hours, sometimes days, on end. Other mothers aren’t evil sorcerers.

When her mother unexpectedly moves them into the manor home of a wealthy older Squire and his kind but keen-eyed sister, Hester, Cordelia knows this welcoming pair are to be her mother’s next victims. But Cordelia feels at home for the very first time among these people, and as her mother’s plans darken, she must decide how to face the woman who raised her to save the people who have become like family.

Please enjoy this free excerpt of A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher, on sale 8/06/24


CHAPTER 1

There was a fly walking on Cordelia’s hand and she was not allowed to flick it away.

She had grown used to the ache of sitting on a hard wooden pew and being unable to shift her weight. It still hurt, but eventually her legs went to sleep and the ache became a dull, all-over redness that was easier to ignore.

Though her senses were dulled in obedience, her sense of touch stayed the strongest. Even when she was so far under that the world had a gray film around the edges, she could still feel her clothing and the touch of her mother’s hand. And now the fly’s feet itched, which was bad, then tickled, which was worse.

At the front of the church, the preacher was droning on. Cordelia had long since lost the thread. Lust and tithing were his two favorite topics. Probably it was one of those. Her mother took her to church every Sunday and Cordelia was fairly certain that he had been preaching the same half-dozen sermons for the past year.

Her eyes were the only muscles that she could control, so she was not looking at him, but down as far as she could. At the very bottom of her vision, she could see her hands folded in her lap and the fly picking its way delicately across her knuckles.

Her mother glanced at her and must have noticed that she was looking down. Cordelia’s chin rose so that she could no longer see her hands. She was forced to study the back of the head of the man in front of her. His hair was thinning toward the back and was compressed down at the sides, as if he wore a hat most days. She did not recognize him, but that was no surprise. Since her days at school had ended, Cordelia only saw the other townsfolk when she went to church.

Cordelia lost the tickling sensation for a moment and dared to hope that the fly was gone, but then the delicate web between her thumb and forefinger began to itch.

Her eyes began to water at the sensation and she blinked them furiously. Crying was not acceptable. That had been one of the first lessons of being made obedient. It would definitely not be acceptable in church, where other people would notice. Cordelia was fourteen and too old to cry for seemingly no reason—because of course she could not tell anyone the reason.

The fly crossed over to her other hand, each foot landing like an infinitesimal pinprick. The stinging, watering sensation in her eyes started to feel like a sneeze coming on.

Sneezing would be terrible. She could not lift her hands or turn her head, so it would hit the back of the man’s head, and he would turn around in astonishment and her mother would move her mouth to apologize and everyone would be staring at her for having been so ill-mannered.

Her mother would not be happy. Cordelia would have given a year of her life to be able to wipe her eyes. She sniffed miserably, her lungs filling with the smell of candles and wood polish and other people’s bodies. Under it all lay the dry, sharp smell of wormwood.

And then, blessedly, the preacher finished. Everyone said, “Amen,” and the congregation rose. No one noticed that Cordelia moved in unison with her mother.

No one ever did.

“I suppose you’re mad at me,” said her mother as they walked home from church. “I’m sorry. But you might try harder not to be so rebellious! I shouldn’t have to keep doing this to you, not when you’re fourteen years old!”

Cordelia said nothing. Her tongue did not belong to her. The person that smiled and answered all the greetings after the sermon—“Why Evangeline, don’t you look lovely today? And Cordelia! You keep growing like a weed!”—had not been Cordelia at all.

They reached home at last. Home was a narrow white house with peeling paint, set just off the road. Evangeline pushed the front door open, walked Cordelia to the couch, and made her sit.

Cordelia felt the obedience let go, all at once. She did not scream.

When Cordelia was young, she had screamed when she came out of obedience, but this gave her mother a reason to hold her and make soothing noises, so she had learned to stay silent as she swam up into consciousness, out of the waking dream.

The memories of what she had done when she was obedient would still be there, though. They lay in the bottom of her skull like stones.

It was never anything that looked terrible from outside. She could not have explained it to anyone without sounding ridiculous. “She makes me eat. She makes me drink. She makes me go to the bathroom and get undressed and go to bed.”

And they would have looked at her and said “So?” and Cordelia would not have been able to explain what it was like, half-sunk in stupor, with her body moving around her.

Being made obedient felt like being a corpse. “My body’s dead and it doesn’t do what I want,” Cordelia had whispered once, to her only friend, their horse Falada. “It only does what she wants. But I’m still in it.”

When she was younger, Cordelia would wet herself frequently when she was obedient. Her mother mostly remembered to have Cordelia relieve herself at regular intervals now, but Cordelia had never forgotten the sensation.

She was made obedient less often as she grew older. She thought perhaps that it was more difficult for her mother to do than it had been when she was small—or perhaps it was only that she had learned to avoid the things that made her mother angry. But this time, Cordelia hadn’t avoided it.

As the obedience let go, Cordelia swam up out of the twilight, feeling her senses slot themselves back into place.

Her mother patted her shoulder. “There you are. Now, isn’t that better?”

Cordelia nodded, not looking at her.

“I’m sure you’ll do better next time.”

“Yes,” said Cordelia, who could not remember what it was that she had been made obedient for. “I will.”

When her legs felt steady enough, she went up the stairs to her bedroom and lay on the bed. She did not close the door.

There were no closed doors in the house she grew up in.

Sometimes, when her mother was gone on an errand, Cordelia would close the door to her bedroom and lean against it, pressing herself flat against the wooden surface, feeling it solid and smooth under her cheek.

The knowledge that she was alone and no one could see her—that she could do anything, say anything, think anything and no one would be the wiser—made her feel fierce and wicked and brave.

She always opened the door again after a minute. Her mother would come home soon and the sight of a closed door would draw her like a lodestone. And then there would be the talk.

If Cordelia’s mother was in a good mood, it would be “Silly! You don’t have any secrets from me, I’m your mother!”

If she was in a bad mood, it would be the same talk but from the other direction, like a tarot card reversed—“What are you trying to hide?”

Whichever card it was, it always ended the same way: “We don’t close doors in this house.”

When Cordelia was thirteen and had been half-mad with things happening under her skin, she shot back “Then why are there doors in the house at all?”

Her mother had paused, just for an instant. Her long-jawed face had gone blank and she had looked at Cordelia—really looked, as if she was actually seeing her—and Cordelia knew that she had crossed a line and would pay for it.

“They came with the house,” said her mother. “Silly!” She nodded once or twice, to herself, and then walked away.

Cordelia couldn’t remember now how long she had been made obedient as punishment. Two or three days, at least.

Because there were no closed doors, Cordelia had learned to have no secrets that could be found. She did not write her thoughts in her daybook.

She kept a daybook because her mother believed that it was something young girls should do, but the things she wrote were exactly correct and completely meaningless. I spilled something on my yellow dress today. I have been out riding Falada. The daffodils bloomed today. It is my birthday today.

She gazed at the pages sometimes, and thought what it would be like to write I hate my mother in a fierce scrawl across the pages.

She did not do it. Closing the door when she was home alone was as much rebellion as she dared. If she had written something so terrible, she would have been made obedient for weeks, perhaps a month. She did not think she could stand it for so long.

I’d go mad. Really truly mad. But she wouldn’t notice until she let me come back, and I’d have been mad inside for weeks and weeks by then.

Since her mother was home today and unlikely to leave again, Cordelia took a deep breath and sat up, scrubbing at her face. There was no point in dwelling on things she would never do. She changed out of her good dress and went out to the stable behind the house, where Falada was waiting. The stable was old and
gloomy, but Falada glowed like moonlight in the darkness of his stall.

When Falada ran, and Cordelia clung to his back, she was safe. It was the only time that she was not thinking, not carefully cropping each thought to be pleasant and polite and unexceptional. There was only sky and hoofbeats and fast-moving earth.

After a mile or so, the horse slowed to a stop, almost as if he sensed what Cordelia needed. She slipped off his back and leaned against him. Falada was quiet, but he was solid and she told him her thoughts, as she always did.

“Sometimes I dream about running,” she whispered. “You and me. Until we reach the sea.”

She did not know what she would do once they reached the sea. Swim it, perhaps. There was another country over there, the old homeland that adults referred to so casually.

“I know I’m being ridiculous,” she told him. “Horses can’t swim that far. Not even you.”

She had learned not to cry long ago, but she pressed her face to his warm shoulder, and the wash of his mane across her skin felt like tears.

Cordelia was desperately thankful for Falada, and that her mother encouraged her to ride, although of course Evangeline’s motives were different from Cordelia’s. “You won’t get into any trouble with him,” her mother would say. “And besides, it’s good for a girl to know how to ride. You’ll marry a wealthy man someday, and they like girls who know their way around a horse, not these little town girls that can only ride in a carriage!” Cordelia had nodded. She did not doubt that she would marry a wealthy man one day. Her mother had always stated it as fact.

And, it was true that the girls Cordelia saw when riding seemed to envy her for having Falada to ride. He was the color of snow, with a proud neck. She met them sometimes in the road. The cruel ones made barbed comments about her clothes to hide their envy, and the kind ones gazed at Falada wistfully. That was how
Cordelia met Ellen.

“He’s very beautiful,” Ellen had said one day. “I’ve never seen a horse like him.”

“Thank you,” said Cordelia. She still went to school then, and talking to other people had not seemed quite so difficult. “He is a good horse.”

“I live just over the hill,” the other girl had said shyly. “You could visit sometime, if you like.”

“I would like that,” Cordelia had replied carefully. And that was true. She would have liked that.

But Cordelia did not go, because her mother would not have liked that. She did not ask. It was hard to tell, sometimes, what would make her mother angry, and it was not worth the risk. Still, for the last three years she had encountered the kind girl regularly. Ellen was the daughter of a wealthy landowner that lived nearby. She rode her pony, Penny, every day, and when she and Cordelia met, they rode together down the road, the pony taking two steps for every one of Falada’s.

So it was unsurprising when Cordelia heard the familiar hoof-beats of Ellen’s pony approaching. She lifted her head from Falada’s neck and looked up as Ellen waved a hello. Cordelia waved back and remounted. Penny shied at their approach, but Ellen reined her in.

Cordelia had never ridden any horse but Falada, so it was from Ellen—and from watching Ellen’s pony—that she learned that most horses were not so calm as Falada, nor so safe. When she was very young and the open doors in their house became too much, when she couldn’t stand being in that house for one more second, she would creep to Falada’s stall and sleep curled up there, with his four white legs like pillars around her. Apparently most people did not do this, for fear the horse would step on them. Cordelia had not known to be afraid of such a thing.

“Oh, Penny! What’s gotten into you? It’s just Falada.” Ellen rolled her eyes at Cordelia, as if they shared a joke, which was one of the reasons that Cordelia liked her.

“Penny’s a good pony,” Cordelia said. She liked it when Ellen complimented Falada, so perhaps Ellen would like it when she complimented Penny. Cordelia talked to other people so rarely now that she always had to feel her way through these conversations, and she was not always good at them.

“She is,” said Ellen happily. “She’s not brave, but she’s sweet.”

Ellen carried the conversation mostly by herself, talking freely about her home, her family, the servants, and the other people in town. There was no malice in it, so far as Cordelia could tell. She let it wash over her, and pretended that she had a right to listen and nod as if she knew what was going on.

Cordelia was not sure why Ellen rode out to meet her so often, when she could say so little, but she was glad for the company. Ellen was kind, but more than that, she was ordinary. Talking to her gave Cordelia a window into what was normal and what wasn’t. She could ask a question and Ellen would answer it without asking any awkward questions of her own. Most of the time, anyway.

It had occurred to her, some years prior, that not all parents could make their children obedient the same way that her mother made her, but when she tried to ask Ellen about it, to see if she was right, the words came out so wrong and so distressing that she stopped.

Something about today—the memory of the obedience or the fly or maybe just the way the light fell across the leaves and Falada’s mane—made her want to ask again.

“Ellen?” she asked abruptly. “Do you close the door to your room?”

Ellen had been patiently holding up both ends of the conversation and looked up, puzzled. “Eh? Yes? I mean, the servants go in and out of my dressing room, but I always lock the door to the water closet when I’m in it, because you don’t want servants around for that, do you?”

Cordelia stared at her hands on the reins. They were not wealthy enough to have servants, and there was an outhouse beside the stable, not a water closet. She pressed on.

“Does your family think you’re keeping secrets when you do?”

The silence went on long enough that Cordelia looked up, and realized that Ellen was giving her a very penetrating look. She had a pink, pleasant face and a kind manner, and it was unsettling to suddenly remember that kind did not mean stupid and Ellen had been talking to her for a long time.

“Oh, Cordelia . . .” said Ellen finally.

She reached out to touch Cordelia’s arm, but Falada sidled at that moment, and Penny took a step to give him room, so they did not touch after all.

“Sorry,” said Cordelia gruffly. She wanted to say Please don’t think I’m strange, that was a strange question, I can tell, please don’t stop talking to me, but she knew that would make it all even worse, so she didn’t.

“It’s all right,” said Ellen. And then “It will be all right,” which Cordelia knew wasn’t the same thing at all.

Copyright © 2024 from T. Kingfisher

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