Since Forge is publishing a book about a giant shark, you’d think that we’d know all the tips and tricks on how to survive a shark attack. That being said, we’ve probably spent more time reading about the Meg than swimming in shark-infested waters.
To test our coworker’s survival skills, we asked them how they would fend off a shark attack, and the answers ranged from sensible to, well, a bit out-of-the-box.
(Spoiler-Alert: the answers include a lot of firm snoot-booping and fast swimming.)
Chris Morgan, Editor
Look, if Flipper taught me anything, it’s to punch ’em the gills or nose.
Rachel Taylor, Tor Marketing Manager
I would give the shark a light but firm *boop* on the nose to startle them then paddle myself away as fast as humanly possible–that works in real life right?! :’)
(Also, I am MORTALLY and irrationally afraid of sharks, so if I actually did see a shark IRL i would probably drop dead of heart failure first, not going to lie.)
Jordan Hanley, Nightfire Marketing Manager
As an ocean-dwelling sea-person (aka, I grew up near the ocean), I think the most rational way to survive a shark attack would be to kindly and compassionately smack that cartlidge puppy on the snoot with a foot, and then doggy paddle away with the least amount of splashing possible. I’d then get out of the water immediately, never to return to my sea palaces.
Jennifer McClelland-Smith, Forge Marketing Manager
Well, as the second-place finisher in the butterfly in the Central Ohio 10 & under swim team championship in 1987, I would use my superior swimming abilities to escape a shark attack. Of course, there were only 2 people in that particular event, so I guess what I’m saying is that I would not survive a shark attack.
Renata Sweeney, Tor Marketing Manager
The best way to survive a shark attack is to make yourself appear larger. Then, play dead. It’s foolproof.
Sarah Pannenberg, Digital Marketing Coordinator
I would look directly at the shark and stare deep into its soul, in the hopes that it reevaluates its decision to attack a random, innocent human. While it’s in the middle of an existential crisis, I’d jump on its back and ride off into the sunset. Now we’re best friends!
Matt Rusin, Editorial Assistant
Well, I think it depends on what kind of shark we’re talking about here. If it’s a Great White, kicking it in the nose or gills would be my first thought. But if it’s a rogue dogfish nipping my heel I’d probably just shoo it away like a fly.
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